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Thursday, January 31, 2008

Slowing down...

The last month or so has been a whirl-wind of in's.... MOMin', workin', schoolin' (online at HCCC), and just livin' but somehow it all caught up with me and I (or actually the nudge was from my little bean) decided I need to slow down-- I'm not old, I'm not ill, and I'm certainly NOT going to jeopardize this precious life within me to do what I want!

I need to run a bubble bath, throw in some rose petals, grab my toddler (who is 20m going on 4 over night!) and have a nice relaxing soak in the tub of patience...

I dropped A&P, sigh... that just means my health-care advancement is just that much farther away but the more I interview (ya, they love talking about themselves) the veteran nurses at Welsey the more I realize how far ahead I really am... many of them are in their 50's, grandparents (yes, there are more men nurses than you think!), and this is their 1st degree and they have only been a nurse (some of them) for 2-5yrs. I've come to an understanding with myself... I don't have to get my nursing degree in 2yrs like I had planned, I don't have to kill myself working 2 jobs (both in the evening/night hours so I don't have to send my child to the RSV ridden daycares) while trying to take intensive and un-supported online courses, being a MOM, and all the other stuff that comes with being a urban momma to 2 and wife to a hard-working man who does way too much around the house... what I need is to slow down.

So, I'm going to really take in the sights and smells of my toddler (I got in "the tent" for the 1st time today-- wow, that's sad... Bailee was ecstatic!) and this new life blossoming within.

For now, I will work as much as needed to provide for my little ones and that's it... I will start practicing for H2 next week when a little boy joins our fun at-home schedule, I'll pray more, read more, play more (everyone knows playing is learning) - tent tea-parties here we come, and go from there... and NOT feel like I have to do it all now.

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